Essential Grace Blog

Image from New Yorker Cartoon Being vulnerable is not something that comes as second nature to us humans. Most of us are in a constant battle to fight for a strong, unbreakable image and to deny even the slightest presence of weakness. It is not even a question of which gender is more likely to be expressive in their vulnerability; both can be very deeply rooted in denial - in my unprofessional opinion. So why vulnerability? What is wrong with wearing a mask anyway? Who actually benefits from being vulnerable? If you would like to hear more on this topic, join me as I explore this it in detail for the next few entries. I have always found this area to be a bit vague and wishy-washy. And yes, I naturally lean more to the notion of putting on a brave face and 'being of good cheer' even when cheer is far removed from what I actually feel inside. However, the reality of people finding themselves in a vulnerable space is becoming more and more evident to me in my therapy pr

Hello Dear Reader, It has been an emotional week in the world. In most Southern African countries there has been varying levels of distress from xenophobia related violence, the cruel deaths of young women, and the death of an iconic leader who was for many years a hero to many in Africa. Closer to home there has been the usual unrest through our ongoing court cases, the floundering economy, some sudden deaths that have left us reeling as a community. It has been one of those weeks that requires digging deep into one's reserves of strength just to get to sleep at night. Some more than others. On the issue of sleep, I have discovered what a luxury sleep is to so many people. As usual, I was chatting to a stranger I met at a fundraiser on the weekend. I find myself doing that a lot lately, my curious (nosy) nature gets the better of me and I find myself engaging in deep conversation with people whose names I don't even know. Well, this was the second stranger of the morning I

Well-being is a concept that many find to be vague in definition. It can be tricky to really understand what well-being actually speaks to. Well, the simplest way to define well-being is to say it is a state of being that goes beyond the physical health, and one that incorporates the different attributes of a person. Holistic well-being is therefore a state of good health in every area of one’s life. Has it ever been possible for a person to successfully while ignoring one or several parts of their being? I very much doubt it. Let us take a look at each of them individually;   ·          The soul , this part qualifies you the title of ‘human being’ as the general consensus is that no other created being possess this intricate detail ·          The mind is vital of course as it allows the process of reasoning and creative thought, decision making and self-regulation, among others. ·          The heart , the vessel of emotional experience. ·          The spirit is that whi

I have to be honest, being hurt by others sucks. Everyone can attest to this surely. When someone does something that you feel is so utterly wrong, it can be the worst feeling in the world. It matters less how you actually react to the hurt, it’s the being hurt that makes the difference. Imagine being struck by a heavy sharp stone that someone felt was appropriate to fling at you. It will do some damage, break some skin and/or leave a bruise. Usually the first reaction is one of shock, a numb dumbfounded shock at the injustice of it all. But after that initial reaction wears of, one may get angry or fearful or may engage in any number of defensive measures. One thing remains a fact though, a stone was flung at you and you got hurt. Nothing can change that. Also, nothing can change the fact that the broken skin or bruise you got as a result is actually quite painful. As stoic, unrelenting people who have no desire to reveal our true emotions; we deny there ever was any impact be

I heard a sermon recently by Chip Ingram where he was talking about the life of Paul the Apostle. His opening line was ‘the shortest distance between point A and point B is a zigzag.’ This is seems to be a rather unique way of looking at the calculus theory, a way that makes life rather complicated for people like me who love straight and uncomplicated lines. His message was on the life of Paul, who after being given a directive from Christ himself on how he was to live his life; went on to live a very eventful and often dangerous life. Paul may have expected his life to be filled with mission trips to the Gentile lands, sermon writing, planning and carrying out evangelism drives, meeting with new believers over a fellowship picnic, and plenty of other ‘normal’ things that a missionary would expect. However, this beautiful straight line he may have envisioned turned out to resemble a scribbled line connecting to points between his salvation and his death. Many times we envision such

Have you ever considered psychology as something that goes hand in hand with the Christian faith? Many people have differing views on this and it may not always be a clear cut answer. I have asked this question myself especially in the first year of my psychology degree. I struggled with many concepts in psychology theory; always defensive and wanting to come up with a corresponding ‘Christian-like’ perspective to the secular writings of stalwarts such as Freud. I know, the idea in itself is a lost cause. I am not sure when this defensive attitude stopped, and where I actually began to learn that theories are pretty much just what they say on the box, theories. At some point I learnt about multi-disciplinary approaches, picking and choosing what is appropriate for the context, client, and study. This insight was and continues to be liberating as I continue to grow in other fields related to psychology. This is how I came to research positive psychology

Happy Friday! I don't know about you, but for me Friday is a special day. I can revel in the ending of the week, I can flip flops to work, and I can pretend I don't have to work on Saturday. Today I just wanted to write on a particular passage in the Bible that has been on my heart since the first time I read it (about 16 or so years ago). You see, I was brought up in a Christian home, my siblings, parents, and extended family have always been in one ministry or another so I was always exposed to the Gospel. However, making a personal choice to be a believer happened when I was 10 and a half years old. I was given a Good News Bible in Sunday school which has always been with me although it is much tattered by now. Reading it and learning about the life God called me to live happened largely during my high school years. I thank God for this because a lot of what I experienced after leaving high school - and Malawi later on - was taught to me in those four years; and has been

         There are some passages that we come across in the Word that jump out at us and seem to be so self-explanatory. Then there are others that leaves us scratching our heads wondering just what to make of the text, and often we tend to avoid such passages in favour of the free flowing text that speaks to us.         One such passage that leaves me stumped is 1 John chapter 2 verse 12 to 14. The letters from John are a particular favourite of mine mostly because of his writing style. I find him to be straight forward and precise in his instruction. this passage says;               " I write to you, little children because your sins are forgiven                 I write to you fathers, because you have known Him who is from the beginning                  I write to you, young men because you have overcome the wicked one                  I write to you little children, because you have known the Father                 I have written to you fathers, because you have k

“Though the fig tree may not blossom Nor fruit be on the vines Though the labour of the olive may fail And the fields yield no food Though the flock may be cut off from the fold And there be no herd in the stalls Yet I will rejoice in the Lord I will joy in the God of my salvation The Lord is my strength He will make my feet like a deer’s feet And He will make me walk on my high hills”                                                             Habakkuk 3 vs 17 – 19 This passage speaks to many people in many different ways. We all have needs and wants in different parts of our lives and some may scream their presence louder than others. For the writer of this piece, his needs were food production, and his farm animals. Now to us this may seem un-relatable; thus we exchange it for things that are of vital importance to our own context. Be it a job, a spouse, good health, peaceful environment, even basic food and hygiene. We take a lot of things for granted.

There was an article I read in a women's magazine some years ago. It was about the growing trend of glamourising stress. Apparently, people get into competition on their outrageously busy schedules, their tight deadlines, their endless to-do lists and the ever raising blood pressure. I don't quite know if this has something to do with wanting to be important, or trying to paint a picture of productive energy. The point is, stress can never be glamorous. Neither can the lack of balance and pacing in one's life. The Bible speaks about suffering in terms of it being a global experience. It is not exclusive nor can it be patented. For example, when you think of suffering in the typically African perspective, it is easy to imagine that famine, floods, wars, and corruption are localized to this sad part of the world. But this is simply not true, famine, floods, wars, and corruption are well represented all over the world. Perhaps it is much easier to project so me forms of suf

Peace is a general concept. It can mean different things such as peace of mind or inner peace, peace from war, and peace in relational contexts, to name a few. A quick wiki search on the definition of peace brings its description as ' a deliberate state of psychological or spiritual calm despite the potential presence of stressors .' add wiki link. An article posted on Letterpile * by Dora Weithers gives a beautiful illustration of peace as being the state one chooses to be in regardless of the situation; be it times of danger or calm. As a Christian, I propose that having and maintaining a peaceful heart is a genuine challenge. I say this because peace is not an inbuilt trait in humans regardless of their faith. Rather, it is something that has to be attained and worked on constantly. It is a personal choice that everyone makes at one point or another. For some, depending on their personality, religion, background, or other such factor; living peacefully is not difficult at

How do you determine your commitment to your God? How do you elaborate on ‘giving your best’ to Him? I came across an article this week on a man named Johnny. Johnny lives a full life, is deeply involved with his local church, works a full time job and has many meaningful relationships. He is also legally blind. Reading about this man got me thinking about the many different ways through which we serve or minister in our lives on a daily basis. There are many people (myself included) who perceive ‘ministry’ or Christian service to mean something extra-ordinary. I have believed for many years that I am not actively serving God because I have not been on a missions trip in years, or taken part in door to door evangelism, or handed out pamphlets. There are many things which the church attempts to qualify as service or ministry. There are singers, ushers, cleaners, preachers, cooks, childminders, and so on who serve diligently and are considered to be in ‘service’ because of thei